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| Released in North America on October 31, 2000 for the Sega Dreamcast by Sega, and developed by Smilebit, Jet Grind Radio features unique roller-blading, graffiti-tagging, cel-shaded gameplay. |
I'll never forget the hype.
Jet Grind Radio, aka
Jet Set Radio everwhere but in North America, had video game publications
going nuts in their previews, and even crazier when they finally reviewed the
game for its 2000 release. The main focal point of their praise went toward both
Radio's unique and wonderful cel-shaded graphics, as well as the game's quirky
style and setting. Praise for the rollerblading, spray-painting gameplay always
came second. After its release, some attention was also paid to how
Jet sold under expectations.
Perhaps, the prevailing idea went,
the game's
off-the-wall concept and unique look confused consumers. Whatever the case, I
couldn't muster enough enthusiasm to add the game to my Dreamcast collection at the time.
I bought it used, a few years later, for less than $10, and never really settled
into a long-term playthrough of the game. Every few years, I'd put another 3-4
hours into it, never getting excited enough to really...grind through it.
Eventually, I decided that, at best, I wanted to power through this game, and at
worst, wanted to figure out why I was having so much trouble mustering
enthusiasm to play through it. What I've found is, sometimes a game just isn't for me.
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And according to this disclaimer from the beginning of the game,
graffiti shouldn't be for you, unless legally mandated!
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Jet Grind Radio's plot involves rival rollerblading,
graffiti-tagging gangs in the slightly futuristic city of Tokyo-to. The player
is a part of the GG gang, and can use any of that gang's handful of members to
complete missions. Missions generally involve skating around a large, 3D city
area, and spray-painting the GG's logo over the logo of rival gangs. I
should stress that only certain portions of the city are accessible in each
mission--this is not an open-world game. Gameplay is set from a third-person
perspective, with the player speeding their skater around town, having the
ability to jump, grind on rails (at least the North American title is apt), do
tricks, and spray-paint, though the latter only when the game prompts and allows it.
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It's okay, the game said I could
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It's tough not to compare
Jet Grind Radio's controls negatively to
the Dreamcast's spectacular Tony Hawk's Pro Skater games, which sandwiched Jet
Grind Radio's release date. Those two games are among the greatest ever made,
for the Sega Dreamcast, or any system, and feature tight controls, with the
ability to manually perform a multitude of tricks for points.
Jet Grind Radio's
tricks are performed automatically when the player grinds or jumps, and feel
inconsequential. Likewise, the controls themselves are a bit unwieldy--you never seem able to consistently do exactly what you want to do. However...there's a
grace period in this game where everything works pretty well.
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Hurry up, before the game gets bad!
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That grace period comes just past the first hour of figuring out the
game's mechanics, up until several hours later, when the actions the game wants
you to perform overtax the game's stiff, yet inaccurate controls. During this
period, the game doesn't ask a lot of you, and you can marvel at the beautiful,
cel-shaded graphics (essentially meant to mimic a 3D, hand-animated cartoon), the fluid framerate, the bright and beautiful city
environments, whose vibe I'll describe as sunshine grime, and the game's bouncy,
eclectic soundtrack and atmosphere. This portion of the game is very stereotypically Dreamcast,
and I mean that in the best way possible. The Dreamcast's main image and vibe is
a sort of
Crazy Taxi,
Tony Hawk,
Skies of Arcadia,
Sonic Adventure cheery, blue-skied, sunny optimism that could only have
existed between Y2K and 9/11.
Jet Grind Radio fully embodies this.
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*Sigh* Hard not to think about the century that might have been.
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Most of the missions during this portion of the game just involve speeding
around without the need for much precision, even as enemies, particularly the
trigger-happy police, start stalking you around the stages. During these parts
of the game, I really started to feel like
Jet Grind Radio was for me.
But then, the game starts asking more of you, without quite giving you the tools
to make fulfilling its more difficult tasks enjoyable.
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Oh well, maybe the Graffiti Maker will make up for it...SPOILERT ALERT:
IT'S REALLY CLUNKY, AND IT DOESN'T
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The control issues start to become clear when both the police pursuit
becomes heavier and the graffiti becomes more complex. Spray-painting involves
getting your character right on top of the perfect spot, until a indicator comes
on screen, declaring that you can begin painting. You must then hold down the
"L-trigger" while also following directional commands. You'll have to perform
timed combo actions, left, down, left-right, etc. in order to complete the
graffiti work. Holding the "L-trigger" down while perform these delicate, rapid
actions with the corner of your thumb is torture for your left hand. Trying to
do this quickly, before the police shoot you, feels downright sadistic on the part of the developers.
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"Poison Jam," like jam that you put on your bread that will kill you, or
"Poison Jam" like a really heavy song that will make your ears explode,
or "Poison Jam" like a situation you get yourself into where you get wedged into an acidic crevice, or "Poison Jam" like your printer got stuck on a
sulfurous sheet of paper, or "Poison Jam" like....?
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Unfortunately, the control issues are more extensive than just
graffiti-caused hand pain. Later missions have you attempting to spray-paint the
backs of skating members of rival gangs. These folks are faster and more adept
than you. Watching them speed away, while you jump toward a railing, only to
have your character inexplicably veer to the right and bang off of it instead of
grind on it is infuriating. The controls just aren't tight enough to allow you
to satisfactorily chase these NPC's. Add in the fact that you've got a
health-meter that's depleted not only by cars and falls, but by banging into
rival skaters, and you've got an exercise in frustration. At this point, the
game loses the vast majority of its fun factor. The graphics no longer wow, and
the cheery, dance-boppy soundtrack starts to become infuriating. It's almost like the
game is mocking you.
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Cool, I guess I'll catch up to you guys later...in another video game
with better controls...
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I have no doubt that the majority of reviewers in 2000 wrote their pieces
before getting to this frustration point, which is a little over halfway into the game. These critics likely
enjoyed the fun early portions, were wowed by the GG's gnarly interactive clubhouse (which includes a soundcheck and a graffiti designer), and were stunned by the
excellent designs of GG's stable of playable characters, all of whom have
slightly different power and technique stats. Those things are great, but once
you get to the point in the game that it is no longer fun, you'll wish that
instead of a soundcheck, the game gave you the ability to replay the past
missions that were actually fun. Unfortunately, the only way to replay a mission
you've already completed is to restart your save file or beat the game and play
through again. This design choice is maddeningly illogical.
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| As is the choice to set this dumb mission above a vat of poisonous sewage. Oh, okay, Poison Jam, like "our jam is to hang out over poisonous sewage." Okay, I get it. Cool. |
My attempt to really deep dive into
Jet Grind Radio has proven to me that this
is really a game that only rewards cursory excursions. If you just play the game
to check it out, only putting in four or five hours, you'll find the great
production values and ease-of-play of these early missions extremely
rewarding...and you'll likely rate
Jet Grind Radio very highly. However,
if you do what I did, what I wanted to do, and try to burrow into
Jet Grind Radio's center,
you'll find a teeth-cracking jawbreaker beneath its bright candy shell. Sure, there
are folks out there who will enjoy patiently perfecting their skills with the
game's finicky, unforgiving controls. However, I am not among this group--keep
the nuts out of my candy bar...especially when you've presented it as nothing
but pure chocolate.