Thursday, May 20, 2021

Headhunter (PAL)

Released in the EU on November 16, 2001 for the Sega Dreamcast by Sega, and developed by Amuze, Headhunter features a mix of on-foot and on-motorcycle third-person 3D action.

My copy of the final Official Dreamcast Magazine reads like a tragedy. The "game previews" section is full of optimism, ignorant of the fact that the system would be discontinued just a few months later. Even more tragic--my subscription ended with the second-to-last issue. I never even got to read the last issue because the magazine was cancelled before I could renew. But the tragedies continue! Some of those last promised Dreamcast games never even made it to America. Shenmue II is the most storied of this crew of games. While Shenmue II did eventually come to the U.S. on the XBox, faithful Dreamcast fans outside of Europe and Asia were left out in the cold. That magazine issue also featured another promising game, though. Titled Headhunter, this groundbreaking title would feature motorcycle riding and on-foot, bounty-hunting action in an open world. While many of Official Dreamcast Magazine's descriptions of the game turned out to be inaccurate, it's hype was on point. Technology eventually empowered my Dreamcast to play European and Japanese Dreamcast games--and Headhunter now holds a proud place in my collection.
I guess I just spoiled the review.

Headhunter is really a game about big ideas. Just missing beating Grand Theft Auto 3 to shelves by a month, the game gives the illusion of free-access to a huge open world Los Angeles look-alike. Players took control of super badass bounty hunter, Jack Wade, who's dealing with a strange bout of amnesia. Apparently, Jack was the greatest bounty hunter in town, but one day he wakes up in the hospital with no memory of anything, and has to start over from the beginning. This means he'll have to get his LEILA licenses all over again. "LEILA" is a progressing series, which gives Jack access to more weapons and more of the city, the greater the license he achieves. 
Jack Wade, badass.

Of course, this is where it becomes clear that despite this huge city to explore, progress in Headhunter is actually pretty linear. That's mainly due to the fact that progress (and LEILA test access) is tied to the game's intricate story and carefully realized world. Headhunter takes place in a near future, where the police have been done away with, and a group called the Anti-Crime Network have taken the reins on law enforcement. The ACN's agents are the Headhunters, who round up criminals with new weapons that fire electrical charges instead of bullets. That's because--drumroll--lawbreakers are sent to prison, where their organs are surgically removed and given to the rich. Yes, turns out this is not only a dystopian future, but one which makes insightful commentary on our own. Thankfully, this means that what Headhunter lacks in true open-world, sandbox gameplay, it makes up for with its cleverly told story and a high attention to detail in its world-building.
And you get regular updates from these ACN-mouthpiece douchebags.

And I mean high attention. No, that's not a drug metaphor, but an allusion to the fact that this game excels in fleshing out its world. Load screens are goofy, creepy ads suggesting that viewers need to augment their physical appearances.
Why...is it going to cost me? What if I'm an anti-dentite?

Breaks between the gameplay come in the form of news broadcasts that are obviously sponsored by and sympathetic to the ACN. Man, that sounds familiar. Anyway, the game does a great job of immersing you into its unique vision. The graphics are great, with environments at once exemplifying that bright, blue-sky, west coast Dreamcast sunniness, while suggesting a gritty, graffiti and trash-strewn realism underneath. The motorcycle segments are remarkably smooth and fast, without any slowdown, and Jack speeds along through the huge city environment hiccup-free. The cars and buildings around him look great, though there's a strange emptiness in the fact that there aren't people walking around everywhere--then again, maybe those folks just want to keep their organs. There is some car pop-up at a distance when Jack is going extremely fast, but that's about the only graphical blemish on this game. Indoor environments look great, with a lot of detail, and great animation for Jack, his bounties, and their henchmen. You'll be taking Jack to rundown gas stations, sewers, shopping malls...an underwater prison.
I've gotta include a whale in every review. Man, Dreamcast had to have been the most whale-friendly system out there! 

It's very important to note how great this game sounds, as well. Voice-acting and sound effects are all top notch. These guns might shoot electrical charges, but they still pop like the real thing. Meanwhile, Richard Jacques' symphonic compositions, which featured the grandest scale orchestrations of any video game up to that point, are excellent and get the blood pumping. They also add to Headhunters' cinematic feel. Thankfully, the game isn't overly reliant on tedious cutscenes to tell its story. Instead, it nearly always pulls off that excellent and immersive "you're in a movie vibe" while you're actually playing it.
Looks like a neo-noir in this shot!

The gameplay most definitely enhances that cinematic feel. The motorcycle segments really only exist for two reasons. The first is so that Jack can get from one mission to another. Belying how this isn't truly an open world game, Jack can only dismount his bike when he's reached the area where the particular mission he's on takes place. It's still a blast riding around on the bike, and thankfully, those segments often have a secondary purpose. In order for Jack to qualify for a higher level LEILA license test, he has to gain points, which can only be accumulated by driving his motorcycle very fast for an extended amount of time. If Jack crashes (thankfully, the bike can't be damaged), he loses points. Once he gets enough to take his test, he can no longer lose the points, but can drive to the LEILA offices to take his test--generally this is possible once during each of the game's major story segments. The LEILA tests put Jack into a VR chair, where he has to prove that he's mastered Headhunter's gameplay elements.
Do it, Jack! Break that VR bastard's neck!

The bike purposely controls awfully to start the game, mirroring Jack's lack of memory pertaining to how to drive it. Thankfully, as Jack acquires higher LEILA licenses, the motorcycle controls much more smoothly. Gameplay for both the driving and on-foot modes comes from a third-person perspective. The on-foot gameplay is a sort of stealth/action hybrid. Jack can hug walls with the touch of a button, while cycling through targets with a lock-on crosshair with another. You can't aim, but considering you're shooting electronic bullets, I guess that doesn't matter--plus, the lock-on firing generally works great. Jack can also roll around with another button, crouch, and of course run around like a maniac. There's a very cool option where Jack can sneak up behind a foe, and the attack button, instead of firing a weapon, will cause Jack to snap his foes neck...which I guess kind of ruins the whole organ harvesting thing. There are some frustrations coming from getting the auto-aim target onto the correct foe when there are plenty of enemies on screen, as well as the camera-centering R-trigger not always pointing Jack in the direction you'd like. Overall, though, the controls are mostly an asset.
The best place to have any type of shootout is next to a live gas pump.

Cycling through weapons and items, as well as reloading (your main, quite effective gun has infinite ammo) comes through the directional pad. You'll be picking up keys and other objects because another major facet of the on-foot missions, in addition to all the stealthing and actioning, is puzzle-solving. Puzzles are generally intuitive and fairly simple, though there are some head-scratchers tossed into the mix to make things just a bit more difficult. I enjoyed most of them. The player can save at any moment, though if you die (from taking damage from enemies) or quit and reload your file, you generally have to start back at the beginning of the last major story point. You'll lose, at the most, 10-15 minutes of gameplay, which can be frustrating at times, but at least you're not restarted at the very beginning of the mission. For instance, if you die during one of the game's awesome boss fights, you're restarted at that the start of that boss fight. In addition to giving the ability to save, pausing allows the player to look through your mission objectives, an area map, your items, a LEILA database, etc. Again, the attention to detail is pretty great.
Speaking of detail, the graphical detail in this boss fight is stunning. Check the feet splashing up rainwater here.
And the rain hitting Jack's head and shoulders here.

America should have had a chance to play Headhunter. Personally, I use an Innovation disc converter to play imported games. It's a little pricier than when I first bought it, but it's still worth it. Headhunter may not be as historically significant as its Grand Theft Auto peer, but it's a unique game that deserves to be experienced. And in the case of Dreamcast imports, it's not the only one.
This game, along with the Sega Dreamcast itself, can ride off into the sunset forever in my imagination, meaning that they might be frozen in time, but I'll never stop playing. 


8.5
Graphics
Highly-detailed, smooth operator.
8.8
Music and Sound
Adrenaline-pumping, fully orchestrated soundtrack, along with great voice-acting and overall sound design.
8.5
Gameplay
Mission-based riding, running, and shooting action delivers in a semi-open world. 
7.0
Lasting Value
It's only about 10-15 hours long, with little to come back for, but at least it's an enjoyable 10-15 hours.
8.5  FINAL SCORE

Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future

Released for the Sega Dreamcast in North America on September 10, 2000 by Sega, and developed by Appaloosa Entertainment, Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future unleashes the titular sea mammal in 3D seas.

I thought I was done with video games. When I got married, I thought I wasn't supposed to play them anymore. They were one of my biggest joys, and I cut them out of my life, just like that. After several years of this, my son was born. At the same time, my sister married a guy with two young sons between the ages of five and ten. I soon found that on Sunday afternoons, due to their lackluster father, it was my job to entertain these two extremely non-lackluster boys. At some point, the oldest boy asked me, "Do you have any video games?" For some reason, I skipped over every other console I had boxed up to say, "Yes, I do. Have you ever heard of a Sega Dreamcast?" We played through a few of my old games that afternoon, but for some reason that night I went straight to eBay and ordered Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future.
Siren's call! Except it didn't lead me to shipwreck!

I won't go deep into my Ecco the Dolphin nostalgia, as I've done that before. As a fan of the franchise, I really wanted to experience Ecco's Dreamcast swansong, as 2000's Defender of the Future is still the last Ecco game ever released, even 21 years later. I'd missed Defender the first time around, since it was released right in the middle of the time I was completing a Dreamcast run of Grandia II, Shenmue, and Skies of Arcadia. Now was my chance, though. Defender of the Future arrived in the mail, and with my newborn son on my lap, and the two step-nephews at my side, we dove into what they affectionately dubbed "the dolphin game."
Which is the kind of astute minimalism of which it seems only children are capable.

The first thing I noticed, just a few seconds into our playthrough: Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future is an extremely beautiful video game. To this day, the 128-bit marvel may still be the most realistic video game simulation of the undersea world. The water, the way the sunlight filters through it and shifts with the waves, the way schools of fish bob and undersea plants tremble in the current, the strikingly natural dolphin and sea creature animations, the colors, the highly detailed sea bottom and reefs, it's all so breathtakingly beautiful still. This game is gorgeous. 1/3 of the way through, Ecco blasts through time to extra-dimensional seas, and those are just as beautiful. The graphics in Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future are amazing.
What, are you gonna tell this star-headed dolphin he's not beautiful?!

There are a few flaws in the graphics department. For one, distant objects seem to slowly fade in as you move closer toward them...then again, that's actually how things look underwater. One flaw I can't justify, though--when there's a lot going on, the game can have a tendency to slow down just a bit. Framerate dropping...not something that actually happens underwater. Still, these graphics...well, I'm out of ecstatic descriptors.
It just looks so good
Hey, sea turtle, be my friend!

As incredible as Defender of the Future's graphics are, its soundtrack might be even better. Composer, Tim Follin, has created the perfect aural accompaniment for this undersea adventure. Follin utilizes a hybrid of New Age and World Music to create gorgeous, meditative, mysterious, joyful pieces that remind of me of the 70's and 80's undersea nature documentaries I watched in my youth. I don't think it's hyperbole to say, Defender of the Future's soundtrack belongs in the best of all time pantheon. The immersive sound effects of whales singing, dolphins chirping, and water flowing are the cherry on top.
Seeing these whales + hearing these whales + Tim Follin's music equals video game bliss.

Punctuating Follin's work are Attila Heger's more militaristic, brassy musical pieces, which accompany the game's boss fights and cutscenes. They complement Follin's work nicely, and bonus of all bonuses, in the cutscenes, they are accompanied by narration from Doctor Who himself, and when I say himself, I mean THE Doctor, Tom Baker. Baker's comforting, familiar voice almost makes the game's ludicrous, nearly incomprehensible story work.
Yes, that is a giant, transparent sea-gate. I already can't remember why it's there.

Not that Defender of the Future's story is bad--it's just a lot, and a lot of it is crazy. It certainly has a pedigree, though. The developers tapped Hugo, Nebula, Locus and Campbell award-winning author, David Brin, to pen this dimension-spanning tale, as Ecco must travel from a time in our own world where mankind and humans live in perfect harmony, to different realities where dolphins are missing certain defining traits, all because of some malicious alien entity called "The Foe." You can't say that Brin didn't try.
Plus, he set up situations where you get to swim through the sky. Also, those levels are really hard...just like the ones from Tides of Time.

While I guess you can make sense of Defender's story, you may have a bit more trouble making sense of what to do in some of the game's levels. Defender of the Future is hard. Good luck figuring out what to do in the game's huge, underwater stages. It will take a player hours of exploration, trial and error, and brainstorming to get through most of these things. Often, you'll be given esoteric clues by mystical crystals, or fellow sea creatures. Sometimes, another animal might say, "Ecco, my baby is missing, please find it!" and you'll mutter a sigh of relief that your directive is so clear. Sometimes, you'll be swimming through arcane alien architecture, without a clue of what you are supposed to be doing.
I hope this time the crystal tells me more than "Figure it out."

Thankfully, the game makes swimming a joy. Ecco controls tightly, and maneuvering the determined dolphin through Defender's seas is an absolutely joy. You can tap the swim button to have him waggle his fluke more quickly, or hit the dash button to have him dart forward, which is especially effective in damaging the game's dangerous enemies (often sharks). Few game's outside of the Mario franchise offer more pure game control pleasure than this game does when you get Ecco to dive above the surface and flip through the air.
Plus, when you do that, you get to see what's ABOVE the surface!

There's also a turnaround move that makes quickly changing directions a cinch. The controls are a huge asset here. The only issue comes when maneuvering echo through some of the game's tighter, more twistier spaces. I did manage to get Ecco completely stuck once--I had no choice but to restart the level. Otherwise, though, you'll be pushing levers and crates, outracing eels, and diving through the air with the greatest of ease.
And sometimes, you'll be wearing this funny harness.

Overall, I'm gonna make a suggestion I don't generally offer, but Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future is worth the exception. When the boys and I played through this game, we had a rule: 
Swim around a level for 30 minutes. If we couldn't figure out what to do, use the guide. Yep. Use a guide.
Otherwise, what are you, gonna figure this out on your own?

Defender of the Future is too beautiful, the visuals and audio too transportive, evocative, and enrapturing to miss out on this game. Exploring and discovering what lies ahead in each new level is just too magnificent, controlling the sleek and incredible Ecco too much of a joy to not have this gaming experience. Do like we did. Give each level the college try. We beat quite a few without any assistance. The ones we couldn't, though--I'm glad we looked up how to get through so that we could experience the next level. I mean, there's a stage here consisting entirely of floating cylinders of water hovering miles up in the sky. Don't you want to get to that one? You can even revisit any stage you've completed (and saving is easy).
There are even a few awesome, Sega Genesis-throwback style, side-scrolling levels!

We beat Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future on January 1, 2011. My son, who had recently turned one, was sitting on my lap. As as the older two boys ran out of the room to get into some other trouble, my son and I watched the end credits together. A few months later, as my wife was pushing my son in a shopping cart through a Toys "R" Us, he reached out for a giant tub of plastic sea creatures they were passing, and tossed them in the buggy all by himself. He spent the next few years obsessed with sea creatures. Then he discovered that he loved video games even more. I think I know how he got into both things. Thanks, Ecco.
Who's a good dolphin? Who's a good dolphin?


9.5
Graphics
Incredibly realistic and lifelike underwater environments, with just a little slowdown and pop-up holding back from perfection.
10.0
Music and Sound
Perfect. The immersive soundtrack and sound design are among the best of all time, and Tom Baker even shows up to narrate. Absolutely stunning.
7.5
Gameplay
Controlling Ecco is a blast, but the levels range from intuitive and fun, to absolutely opaque and impossible to decipher without a guide.
7.5
Lasting Value
It's a long game, but once you're done, you're done.
8.2  FINAL SCORE

Maken X

Released in North America for the Sega Dreamcast on April 26, 2000 by Sega, and developed by Atlus, Maken X features first-person hack-and-slash gameplay.

The Sega Dreamcast is not exactly a system known for its first-person shooters. The console only features a handful of games in the genre, and few of those could best be described as "good," let alone "great." How even more bizarre then, that it is home to a first-person...stabber?
Starring Stabby McStabberston?

Maken X, directed by Persona-series director, Katsura Hashino, is certainly an oddball. The 2000 release contains the perspective and most of the mechanics of a first-person shooter, but your character generally carries some variation of a sword, and can rarely launch any sort of projectile. Instead, the game focuses on close-up, hack-and-slash combat. Befitting this unique concept, is a bizarre, nearly nonsensical story about a spirit/AI-infused sword that must brainjack various sword-fighters in a battle against some type of cosmic force foolishness. This plot is absolutely ridiculous, and pushed forward by lengthy, unskippable cutscenes, which are just about the strangest things to ever feature into an American-released video game. The cutscenes are so incredibly ludicrous and difficult to follow, they'd almost succeed on entertainment factor alone, if they weren't so tedious.
Yes.
No.
Maybe.

Thankfully, the gameplay aspect of Maken X, though simple, is pretty fun. The game's combat system allows the player to lock on to an enemy, and features weapon-swinging and blocking, quick backward-dodges, and a gnarly leap-over-your-enemy-and-stab-them-in-the-back-critical-move that's a cinch to pull off, and nearly always satisfying. The controls are pretty tight and intuitive, and the game runs very smoothly, as you blaze a fast path through your enemies. You can even use the R-trigger to strafe in conjunction with the Dreamcast controller's joystick, which is actually an ingenious and successful remedy for the controller's lack of dual joysticks.
I feel like this person's idea of "dual sticks" is different than mine.

You can also unleash a special attack by holding down your weapon-swinging button for a few seconds, then releasing, which drains a little bit of your health. Pick-ups include health packs, and a special power-up that temporarily increases your attack power. That's about it. The basic game mechanics are pretty minimal, but quite successfully utilized, and lead to some pretty epic sword fights as the game progresses. Of course, the twist here is the game's brainjacking mechanic, which allows the player to--permanently, if they choose--take over the body of new characters.
You will want to brainjack out of some of these characters just because of their obnoxiously obtrusive HUDS.

Several of the game's roughly 20 stages give the player a new brainjacking target, as long as the player's psi-level is high enough. This brings a light RPG element to play, as the player earns psi-orbs for every enemy they defeat. Grab enough, and you fill your psi-meter, and thus level up. Better fighters require a higher level in order to be brainjacked, especially some of the late game badasses. I say "late game," but really, Maken X is a short one. Your average player will make it through to the end in under ten hours, though the game does at least include multiple endings, which depend upon which brainjacked character you beat the final boss with.
Just like Q said it would be! Just kidding. Somehow, even the storyline for this game is more believable than QAnon.

As far production values go, Maken X is solid, with workmanlike graphics. The environments generally consist of hallway areas, though there are a few outdoor sections that are generally just outdoor corridors. The wall and floor textures look fine. Character design fits the crazy storyline. The bad guys in this game look like mutated insanity, with a flying gangster butterfly man standing out in particular. The most important thing is that, at all times, the game runs silky smooth. I can't stress enough how fast Maken X feels for a first-person game from this generation.
Smooth like a butterfly gangster man.
I told you this game was crazy!

The music is your general Dreamcast clubby-dance sound, not much different from the background music in Sega Marine Fishing. It does its job, and that's about it. Sword slashes sound great, though it's weird that you're doing all that slicing and dicing and not drawing any blood. Overall, Maken X is about the most balanced combo of "plays just fine" with "but this game is bugnuts crazy" as possible. It's uniquely weird, but doesn't really play out of the ordinary, despite its unique concept and nutso story and character design. For those curious, Maken X is most definitely fun enough to warrant a playthrough. There's little frustration here, even if there's also little wow factor.
Yeah, you're right, that last statement was overly harsh. I really do like this game.


8.0
Graphics
Not bad in any way, but not stunning, though the game runs very, very smoothly.
7.0
Music and Sound
Generic dance soundtrack works fine for what it is.
7.5
Gameplay
A very minimalistic gameplay approach pays off in the form of an intuitive and easy to master combat system. Again, nothing amazing, but it works.
6.0
Lasting Value
Under ten-hour adventure whose playtime is buoyed by multiple (crazy) endings.
7.5  FINAL SCORE

Jet Grind Radio

Released in North America on October 31, 2000 for the Sega Dreamcast by Sega, and developed by Smilebit, Jet Grind Radio features unique roller-blading, graffiti-tagging, cel-shaded gameplay.

I'll never forget the hype. Jet Grind Radio, aka Jet Set Radio everwhere but in North America, had video game publications going nuts in their previews, and even crazier when they finally reviewed the game for its 2000 release. The main focal point of their praise went toward both Radio's unique and wonderful cel-shaded graphics, as well as the game's quirky style and setting. Praise for the rollerblading, spray-painting gameplay always came second. After its release, some attention was also paid to how Jet sold under expectations. Perhaps, the prevailing idea went, the game's off-the-wall concept and unique look confused consumers. Whatever the case, I couldn't muster enough enthusiasm to add the game to my Dreamcast collection at the time. I bought it used, a few years later, for less than $10, and never really settled into a long-term playthrough of the game. Every few years, I'd put another 3-4 hours into it, never getting excited enough to really...grind through it. Eventually, I decided that, at best, I wanted to power through this game, and at worst, wanted to figure out why I was having so much trouble mustering enthusiasm to play through it. What I've found is, sometimes a game just isn't for me.
And according to this disclaimer from the beginning of the game, graffiti shouldn't be for you, unless legally mandated!

Jet Grind Radio's plot involves rival rollerblading, graffiti-tagging gangs in the slightly futuristic city of Tokyo-to. The player is a part of the GG gang, and can use any of that gang's handful of members to complete missions. Missions generally involve skating around a large, 3D city area, and spray-painting the GG's logo over the logo of rival gangs. I should stress that only certain portions of the city are accessible in each mission--this is not an open-world game. Gameplay is set from a third-person perspective, with the player speeding their skater around town, having the ability to jump, grind on rails (at least the North American title is apt), do tricks, and spray-paint, though the latter only when the game prompts and allows it.
It's okay, the game said I could

It's tough not to compare Jet Grind Radio's controls negatively to the Dreamcast's spectacular Tony Hawk's Pro Skater games, which sandwiched Jet Grind Radio's release date. Those two games are among the greatest ever made, for the Sega Dreamcast, or any system, and feature tight controls, with the ability to manually perform a multitude of tricks for points. Jet Grind Radio's tricks are performed automatically when the player grinds or jumps, and feel inconsequential. Likewise, the controls themselves are a bit unwieldy--you never seem able to consistently do exactly what you want to do. However...there's a grace period in this game where everything works pretty well.
Hurry up, before the game gets bad!

That grace period comes just past the first hour of figuring out the game's mechanics, up until several hours later, when the actions the game wants you to perform overtax the game's stiff, yet inaccurate controls. During this period, the game doesn't ask a lot of you, and you can marvel at the beautiful, cel-shaded graphics (essentially meant to mimic a 3D, hand-animated cartoon), the fluid framerate, the bright and beautiful city environments, whose vibe I'll describe as sunshine grime, and the game's bouncy, eclectic soundtrack and atmosphere. This portion of the game is very stereotypically Dreamcast, and I mean that in the best way possible. The Dreamcast's main image and vibe is a sort of Crazy Taxi, Tony Hawk, Skies of Arcadia, Sonic Adventure cheery, blue-skied, sunny optimism that could only have existed between Y2K and 9/11. Jet Grind Radio fully embodies this.
*Sigh* Hard not to think about the century that might have been.

Most of the missions during this portion of the game just involve speeding around without the need for much precision, even as enemies, particularly the trigger-happy police, start stalking you around the stages. During these parts of the game, I really started to feel like Jet Grind Radio was for me. But then, the game starts asking more of you, without quite giving you the tools to make fulfilling its more difficult tasks enjoyable.
Oh well, maybe the Graffiti Maker will make up for it...SPOILERT ALERT: IT'S REALLY CLUNKY, AND IT DOESN'T

The control issues start to become clear when both the police pursuit becomes heavier and the graffiti becomes more complex. Spray-painting involves getting your character right on top of the perfect spot, until a indicator comes on screen, declaring that you can begin painting. You must then hold down the "L-trigger" while also following directional commands. You'll have to perform timed combo actions, left, down, left-right, etc. in order to complete the graffiti work. Holding the "L-trigger" down while perform these delicate, rapid actions with the corner of your thumb is torture for your left hand. Trying to do this quickly, before the police shoot you, feels downright sadistic on the part of the developers.
"Poison Jam," like jam that you put on your bread that will kill you, or "Poison Jam" like a really heavy song that will make your ears explode, or "Poison Jam" like a situation you get yourself into where you get wedged into an acidic crevice, or "Poison Jam" like your printer got stuck on a sulfurous sheet of paper, or "Poison Jam" like....?

Unfortunately, the control issues are more extensive than just graffiti-caused hand pain. Later missions have you attempting to spray-paint the backs of skating members of rival gangs. These folks are faster and more adept than you. Watching them speed away, while you jump toward a railing, only to have your character inexplicably veer to the right and bang off of it instead of grind on it is infuriating. The controls just aren't tight enough to allow you to satisfactorily chase these NPC's. Add in the fact that you've got a health-meter that's depleted not only by cars and falls, but by banging into rival skaters, and you've got an exercise in frustration. At this point, the game loses the vast majority of its fun factor. The graphics no longer wow, and the cheery, dance-boppy soundtrack starts to become infuriating. It's almost like the game is mocking you.
Cool, I guess I'll catch up to you guys later...in another video game with better controls...

I have no doubt that the majority of reviewers in 2000 wrote their pieces before getting to this frustration point, which is a little over halfway into the game. These critics likely enjoyed the fun early portions, were wowed by the GG's gnarly interactive clubhouse (which includes a soundcheck and a graffiti designer), and were stunned by the excellent designs of GG's stable of playable characters, all of whom have slightly different power and technique stats. Those things are great, but once you get to the point in the game that it is no longer fun, you'll wish that instead of a soundcheck, the game gave you the ability to replay the past missions that were actually fun. Unfortunately, the only way to replay a mission you've already completed is to restart your save file or beat the game and play through again. This design choice is maddeningly illogical.
As is the choice to set this dumb mission above a vat of poisonous sewage. Oh, okay, Poison Jam, like "our jam is to hang out over poisonous sewage." Okay, I get it. Cool.

My attempt to really deep dive into Jet Grind Radio has proven to me that this is really a game that only rewards cursory excursions. If you just play the game to check it out, only putting in four or five hours, you'll find the great production values and ease-of-play of these early missions extremely rewarding...and you'll likely rate Jet Grind Radio very highly. However, if you do what I did, what I wanted to do, and try to burrow into Jet Grind Radio's center, you'll find a teeth-cracking jawbreaker beneath its bright candy shell. Sure, there are folks out there who will enjoy patiently perfecting their skills with the game's finicky, unforgiving controls. However, I am not among this group--keep the nuts out of my candy bar...especially when you've presented it as nothing but pure chocolate.


9.8
Graphics
Cel-shaded characters and bright, large and colorful city environments look excellent, while the game runs very fast and smoothly.
8.5
Music and Sound
Upbeat, multiple genre soundtrack, along with a fun general soundscape.
7.0
Gameplay
The fast-paced city exploration of earlier stages gives way to frustration, as the game's weak controls make more technical missions far more difficult than they should be.
6.2
Lasting Value
Fairly long main game quest, whose replay value is challenged simply because past missions are not repayable. 
7.5  FINAL SCORE