Predator 2

Released in 1992 for the Sega Genesis by Arena Entertainment, and developed by Perfect 10 Productions, Predator 2 is a top-down shooter adaptation of the 1990 film of the same name

Predator 2 is a divisive film. Some think it pales in the face of its predecessor. Some think that while it may not be as good as the first film, it is a fun, decent follow-up. A small group think it is even better than the original. I think Predator 2 is...okay. It's definitely not on the level of the first film, but I enjoy its wild, strange, gritty, early 90's energy, its urban jungle themes and setting, and Danny Glover's central performance as the baddest dude in L.A. The film was not a huge hit, so it's a bit strange that Arena Entertainment--a pseudonym for the famous Acclaim Entertainment video game publisher--thought it would be a good idea to release a video game adaptation for it two years later, when movies like Batman Returns and Wayne's World were tearing up the box office. My podcast is covering Predator 2 for its 35th anniversary, so I figured it would be a good time to pick up a copy of the game and give it a spin. Is it worth the cartridge it's housed in?

The heat vision view of L.A. in the START menu might be the most film accurate thing in this game

The first thing that stands out with Predator 2 for the Sega Genesis is the sound. As the start screen comes up, a bouncy, sunny, upbeat tune rolls out as if this is a beach volleyball game. I thought the music would get darker once the game began...but it doesn't. It's still strangely upbeat and bouncy. It's not awful music, but it doesn't fit. The sound effects are okay and at least don't stick out as much like a sore thumb. Thankfully, someone at the development studio noticed the music late in the game, and in the later levels, particularly the Predator spaceship, it finally grows creepier and more ambient, though it's definitely not great.

The explosions are, though

The next thing that stands out is the gameplay. The film essentially shows the Predator run through (murders) the city's biggest drug lords, cops, and a secret government team, until it finally hits the brick wall that is Danny Glover. While Glover does fight drug lords early in the film, he plays detective for awhile before finally going toe to toe against the Predator. Here, the player, as Glover, or as he's called in the movie, Lieutenant Michael R. Harrigan, must rescue hostages from the drug lords, before the Predators slaughter the hostages. 

HELP So many drug lords!

So...not exactly the plot from the film. Basically, from an isometric, top-down view, the player blasts through the game's seven stages, mowing down infinite drug lord foot soldiers who are on foot, on motorcycles, in cars, in helicopters, and they just keep coming. Thankfully, Harrigan's pistol has infinite ammo...and it never has to be reloaded. When enemies are killed, they drop drugs, and the player can collect the drugs for points. Every 50,000 points earns an extra life.  Meanwhile, a Predator is watching and sometimes a target appears on screen. The player must rescue a certain amount of hostages per level. The target will move over the hostages at times, and if the player isn't fast enough, the Predator will blast them into a downpour of eyeballs and viscera. Sometimes, the target aims for the player, and the player will have to keep moving or get blasted as well. 

This guy is a JERK!!

The player will have to learn to balance running and gunning, as bad guys really will just keep pouring out of doorways if the player doesn't keep moving. Thankfully, the Predators do eventually show up. Unlike in the majority of the film, there are a ton of Predators hunting Harrigan down in the later levels. They are stronger and have better weapons than the drug lord foot soldiers. Thankfully, the player can collect some decent secondary weapons, like shotguns, grenades, and spear guns throughout the game. These all have limited ammo. Predator 2's control scheme is simple. The A button fires (the player will probably want to hold it down), while holding down B allows the player to strafe. C cycles through secondary weapons. These simple controls work fine . 

Hey, look, it's a screenshot from the film!

The slaughterhouse! Just like the movie!...sort of.

The graphics are also fine, though not spectacular. Harrigan, the foot soldiers, and Predators are all well-drawn and animated, and the environments are reminiscent of the film, though there aren't very many of them, as the game often repeats itself (you'll be on the streets a lot). Locations like the city streets, the subway, the slaughterhouse, and the Predator ship are all visited. The fog effect in the Predator ship looks okay. The level bosses (not all levels have them) are large (a big truck, a big Predator) and explode really well.

Plus, when you blow up enemy helicopters or trucks, they drop SO MANY drugs!!!

The trains are full of drug lord soldiers, though unlike in the film, none of them practice Jamaican Voodoo

A truck boss...I bet this thing is full of drugs! I'm gonna get so many 1-ups!

What does Harrigan even do with all the drugs? They vanish when he picks them up. Is he...taking them? If so, is that why his gun never runs out of bullets? Is this entire game in his mind?!?!

With all that said, though Predator 2 isn't anything great, it's actually kind of fun. I did not mind the basic "rescue the hostages, blast the bad guys" gameplay. It's very simplistic, and at times feels downright primitive, but it generally works. Each stage but one has its own password, and thankfully, the player starts with a full set of lives (there are no continues) when a password is used. There are extra lives and health strewn across each level. I did enjoy life farming by finding easy spots where I could take out infinite bad guys and earn points, particularly in the final, quite difficult level, the Predator ship (Predators are worth 500 points a piece), though nine is the maximum amount of lives the player can hold. This Predator ship final level is the only one (beside the first, I guess) that doesn't have its own password. The player has to use the password for the previous level and beat it again, then take on The Predator ship. At first, I was angry at this, but it does add just a little time to the play through. The final play through time even after this isn't very long--Predator 2 is the ideal early 90s Blockbuster rental. It is easily beatable in a weekend. 

This ship is full of jerks!!

Also, their skull collection from the film, including the Alien skull, made the game!

Good thing the Predator from the movie couldn't shoot infinite nets at Glover like the multitude of them can in the game...he would have lost!

Predator 2 features three difficulty levels. NORMAL feels just right. For any fan of the film, this Sega Genesis title, while not a must play, is certainly a game of interest, as it is for fans of Sega Genesis action games. I enjoyed it, but I'm glad I paid a Blockbuster price (on EBay), had my weekend, beat the final Predator at the end of Level Seven, watched the credits, and am ready to move on.

It's been fun jerks...but why don't you go rip some spines out somewhere else now?

Always ACE

Graphics: 7.0/10.0
Sound: 5.5/10.0
Gameplay: 6.2/10.0
Lasting Value: 5.0/10.0
Overall (Not an Average): 6.2/10.0

Castlevania: Bloodlines

Released on March 17, 1994 in North America for the Sega Genesis by Konami, Castlevania: Bloodlines brings 2D Castlevania action-platforming to a Sega console for the first time

Many moons ago, I played the Super Nintendo's Super Castlevania IV for the first time, and it blew my mind. The incredible, highly-detailed graphics, the atmospheric, all-timer 16-bit soundtrack, and the finely-tuned, incredible gameplay immediately made the game an instant favorite. I couldn't beat SCIV back then, but revisited it after college in the mid-00's and finally defeated Dracula. The game blew my mind all over again when I was in my 20s, and much stronger technology was available, but that time I heard a small, dissenting voice from several people: Castlevania Bloodlines for the Sega Genesis is better. Before I started hearing these rumblings, I didn't even know the Genesis had a Castlevania game. From that point, I saw videos of the Genesis Castlevania game, and thought about it every now and then, but never gave playing it any serious thought until I saw it on a Tennessee vacation at the end of last year, in a mall video game store for a ridiculously low price. After confirming that the cartridge was real and not a reproduction, I made the purchase, brought the game home, and have played through to the end credits. Is Castlevania: Bloodlines as good as Super Castlevania IV? Is it even a good game?

And whose ribcage is this?

Longtime Castlevania, developer, Konami, wanted Castlevania's first foray onto a Sega console to be different. Thus, Castlevania: Bloodlines doesn't take place during medieval times, but in the 1910s, during World War I. The main villain is a female vampire who wants to use the war as a distraction, in order to revive her uncle...Dracula. Yes, in this side-story from the main Castlevania timeline, Dracula's return is yet again imminent, and the player has to stop it. The change in time period is a cool twist, but the setting here is different, as well. While the first of the game's six stages takes place in and around Dracula's castle, the other five take place all over Europe, as the game's two protagonists chase around the continent, attempting to prevent Dracula's resurrection, reaching such locales as the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Versailles Palace, and a munitions factory in Germany, among others.

Texas, USA! 

I did indeed say "protagonists" in the above paragraph, as Bloodlines offers players the choice of two quite different characters. The first is John Morris (from Texas! I), the slower, stronger, whip-wielding, Belmont-descended, more traditional Castlevania character. The second is the Spaniard, Eric Lecarde, a faster, but slightly weaker character, who carries a more long-range spear. While Bloodlines contains difficulty mode options of EASY, NORMAL, and EXPERT, using Eric is indeed easier. Eric's speed is quite handy, as is the longer range of his weapon, and his ability to strike upward. The easiest mode here is EASY with Eric. I did not do that. While I tested Eric's playability quite a bit for this review, I did my main playthrough here using John Morris on NORMAL mode.

I came here with the Belmonts, and I'm leaving with the Belmonts

Castelvania: Bloodlines looks great. The sprites are big, the backgrounds are detailed, and environments feature plenty of cool animations, like spinning cogs, rising water, scrolling clouds, and shafts of light. The player character, enemies, and bosses are all well-animated and well-designed as well. The color scheme is a little odd and limited, though admittedly, quite Genesis. Likewise, the soundtrack is very Genesis, in a very good way, making the best of its sound chip. Michiru Yamane, just three years before her storied work on Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, presents some very solid work, her first for the series, enjoyable, sophisticated, Bach-inspired pieces that are short, and might not all stick in the head, but that are highly effective and perfectly fit the game. Sound effects are what Castlevania on the Sega Genesis would and should sound like.

The Indiana Jones-like map screen with the traveling dots before each level is quite cool

With firm productions values in place, including a well-done cutscene before the start menu that explains the game's story, all that's left is for the gameplay to take things home. On that front, Castlevania: Bloodlines mostly succeeds. From the start, Bloodlines feels like a classic Castlevania game. Walking and jumping. Whipping enemies. Getting knocked back by a previously unseen enemy into a pit and dying. It's all here. In the case of Bloodlines, it's all here for better or worse.

Here comes a medusa head. Whatever you do DO NOT JUMP.

The first Castlevania game is hard. There are notorious moments in that game where the player will try to jump over a pit from one platform to another, only to get hit by a bat and knocked back into that pit, to their death. The thing about that first Castlevania game is that if the player experienced a game over in any of the levels in that game's six stages, they had the infinite opportunity to continue from the beginning of that stage. In Bloodlines, there are only two continues, and three lives per continue. I was overjoyed to find that there are passwords for each level, but when I reached the second stage down a continue, I was dismayed to find that the password actually saves exactly how many continues and lives the player has...meaning the player has a limited amount of lives to get through the game...and that's it. Run out, and you've got to start over from the beginning of the game. Bloodlines is more unforgiving than the NES' original Castlevania!

I. Hate. These. SIRENS!!!!

Thankfully, I eventually noticed that in the options menu, the player can change the amount of lives from three to five (or one, if you're a sicko). This saved my playthrough and opinion of the game. With the limited continues and inability to save or start a stage over with continues intact, playing with five lives on NORMAL mode is a must (I refused to play through on EASY mode). Like in the the original Castlevania, Bloodlines is broken into six stages, though these aren't broken up into three distinct levels apiece as in the original. While six stages may not sound like many, these stages are long. Extremely long. Early in the game, I don't know how many times I survived a section, hoping the next screen would bring the final boss, only to have to get through several more highly difficult screens. Each stage also features at least one, and often many mini-bosses throughout. I need to make it clear, I am not penalizing the game simply for having a tough difficulty level. Anyone who has been reading my reviews over the years knows that I appreciate a tough difficulty...I just reviewed Batman for the NES! However, I dislike when difficulty feels like it is covering up a lack of content, like in old, quarter-munching arcade games that could be beaten in under ten minutes if the difficulty was simply moderate. Bloodlines doesn't quite reach that point, but it does encroach upon it at times. I feel like the ideal version of this game would actually extend these levels even longer...but include either infinite continues or passwords that didn't save the amount of lives and continues the player had remaining from their previous playthrough. As it is, Bloodlines is fun, and quite challenging, but that challenge feels just a bit unfair, a relic of older, less sophisticated times in the 16-bit age. Some may actually view this as a feature, a bonus, and not a bug. However, I think that 16-bit technology should mean the elimination of such tactics...Super Castlevania IV doesn't need them, and its difficulty feels balanced, while the gameplay length feels just right.

 

Super Castlevania IV brought my dead cat back to life! What have you got, bat boss?

While I'm complaining, I guess I'll get the rest of my negativity out of the way. Certain gameplay elements here are extremely finicky. Even I'm at the point where I'm tired of negatively comparing this game to Super Castlevania IV, but I'll do it one more time. Castlevania IV is famous for Simon Belmont's elastic whip, which can lash out in eight directions. In that game, any time I see a place that I can whip and swing from, I get excited because of how fun that gameplay mechanic is. Here, I dreaded having to whip across chasms. John can only lash forward, unless he is jumping, in which case he can whip up, diagonally. Unlike in Castlevania IV, where whipping points are clearly marked, there are times that John just needs to whip and swing from the ceiling, and nothing is marked...it's just the ceiling. Sometimes the whipping mechanic works, but sometimes it doesn't. The developers seemingly realized that the mechanic wasn't working right, and make sure that there are only a few moments that swinging across a chasm is necessary...but I held my breath every time, and loudly yelled at the TV when it didn't, knowing that I'd just lost one of my few, very precious lives.

Spear boy, on the other hand, doesn't need to whip anywhere

With all that said, Bloodlines is actually pretty fun most of the time. Yes, it's difficult, but I often found myself trying to play a stage nearly perfectly, to where I only died once or twice, restarting from my previous password until I beat the level that way. This ensured I always reached the next level and got a password where I still had many lives remaining. Like with any good game, the more I played, the better I got. I'd often continue through a stage, even after I'd died several times (continuing starts the player off at the beginning of the exact screen at which they died), with the intention of starting over if I got to the end, so that I could go through again with the intent of dying less. A stage...particularly the nightmarish, siren-filled Stage Three, would often drain all of my lives and continues before I even got halfway to the end for the first few tries. Eventually, I'd get good enough to almost make it through without dying. The controls, while again limited a bit from Castlevania IV and other future Castlevania title, are pretty tight, excluding the whip-grappling mechanic. Jumping follows the more realistic style of earlier games, meaning once the player has committed to a jump, they can't turn around and correct it in mid-air. A jump forward is always a jump forward, no matter what, unless an enemy flies into the player, in which case, it's a jump forward, then a knock back. The controls became more and more familiar and more and more intuitive the more I played. The Sega Genesis controller's three-button scheme works out well here, as there's an attack button, a jump button, and a secondary weapon button. Like in most Castlevania games, the player can pick up a secondary weapon throughout the game (an axe, holy water, etc.) to use on enemies, collecting jewels as ammunition. This mechanic works just as well as it does in other Castlevania games.

 

The glass breaking throughout this fight is an epic touch

Once I gained more confidence in my Bloodlines abilities, as well as in my chances at progressing through the game's marathon-length levels (particularly after discovering I could up the life count to five), I started to eagerly anticipate whatever crazy thing the game would throw at me next. From a ghost knight with a machine gun, to a weird 90s glitch/steampunk mini-boss, to rooms that play completely upside down, Bloodlines is great at keeping players on their toes. Imagination and ingenuity are on display here by the bloody truckload. The attention to detail is also great. I loved revisiting Dracula's castle in the first stage and seeing how much of it was smashed to bits or banged up from time and the last violent Belmont visit. Despite my qualms, a lot of thought, care, and skill went into this game and it shows.

Used to be a nice room...used to be.

As in all Castlevania games, the levels have secrets. There are big juicy mutton chops hidden in some of the walls (generally the wall will show cracks), which refill a player's depleted power meter. There are also extra lives hidden in some particularly devious places, though these often require the player to risk a life in order to grab them. There are a few Mirrors of Truth hidden throughout the game, which kill every enemy on screen. I really like those. There are Coat-of-Arms, which, when the player has upgraded either their whip or spear to the maximum amount (generally done quickly, right when a player has started a stage, or restarted on a screen), combine to not only create a super-powered whip or spear, but replace the secondary weapon with an awesome, screen-clearing supermove. Each of the regular secondary weapons also has its own supermove, which requires the player to hold "up" when hitting the secondary attack button, though this uses more jewels. Overall, there's enough depth in gameplay to keep the player invested, even if they're struggling with the difficulty (or annoying grappling mechanic). Bloodlines is a good game...

 

Upon reflection...

But claiming that it is better than Super Castlevania IV is frankly ridiculous. These two games are not on the same level. For one, Bloodlines, is a high production value ode to a previous generation in gaming, that is at times held captive by that previous generation's flaws. Super Castlevania IV transcends, makes use of its 16-bit technology to carve out a spot among the greatest 2D action-platformers of all time. In my humble opinion, gaming peaked at the 16-bit generation. Developers could now create games that were large enough to where the difficulty didn't have to be artificially inflated to extend gameplay. Functions like file-saving became commonplace because the ability to save a game now didn't mean that the player could get through it so quickly, the game didn't have value. Music and graphics could be highly appealing given the proper development and care. Games like The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Super Mario World, Chrono Trigger, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and Streets of Rage 2 redefined gaming excellence (though as I think about it, the Genesis titles only furthered the production value angle--those games don't feature any save option, and you have to play straight through them...the newer Super Nintendo most definitely had a leg up in this department). Super Castlevania IV features so many stages, the password system doesn't need to hold players to limited lives and continues to artificially inflate gameplay. While Bloodlines' graphics and sound are good, SCIV features layered, painterly 16-bit graphics, and a soundtrack that would make a gothic film envious (and anyone who would point to the slowdown during some moments in SCIV as its Achilles heel must have somehow never tried to do a Coat-of-Arms supermove in Bloodlines). However...some people just prefer the Genesis aesthetic. They prefer the graphics and sound generally inherent in a Sega Genesis game versus that of a Super Nintendo game. If  that's the case, and you haven't played Bloodlines...head to a shopping mall in Tennessee and pick up this game, now! They had two copies, and I left a copy on the shelf (CM Games in Knoxville)! And if you're a Castlevania fan in general and haven't played this game, I highly recommend it. Even if Bloodlines is not my 16-bit preference, it's more than worth playing.

I felt like I had to take a picture of the screen when I beat the game to prove my bonafides(I wasn't using screen capture on that playthrough),,,because after all the griping I did here about difficulty, I beat Dracula on my first try...on my last life...with one hit left...

Go back to sleep, you blood-sucking bastard

Graphics: 8.5/10.0
Sound: 8.5/10.0
Gameplay: 7.8/10.0
Lasting Value: 7.5/10.0
Overall (Not an Average): 8.0/10.0

Batman Returns 16-Bit Showdown

Almost every major blockbuster in the early 90's received a video game adaptation. Even Domino's and Seven Up's mascots received their own video games. If the Noid got his own game, there's no way the hype machine behind Batman Returns was going to let that 1992 smash hit pass through without an adaptation...or seven. Batman Returns is a seminal film for me--at eleven years old, I fell into the film's prime demographic, and I love it to this day. With a protagonist like Batman, major villains like Penguin and Catwoman, and a clearly designed group of underlings in the red triangle circus gang, a 16-bit video game version of Batman Returns essentially designs itself. Developers just needed to put Batman on Gotham's icy streets and let him punch and kick his way through an army of circus freaks, while periodically battling with the two major foes. Toss in some Christmas trees and giant presents in the background for good measure and viola: Batman Returns game. That's just what the three 16-bit adaptations of Batman Returns do...to varying degrees of success.


Batman Returns, Sega Genesis, December 29, 1992

Sega's Malibu-developed Batman Returns game was first to market. The game is a side-scrolling action-platformer, like many movie game adaptations from the era. The speed at which the game came to market betrays Sega's "that's good enough, let's hurry up and get this thing on the shelves" approach, taken with several of their adaptations at the time. This game was clearly not play-tested enough to make sure it was actually fun, though, and...it's not very fun. The absolute first moment of the Sega Genesis Batman Returns asks the player to take a blind jump from the top of the building. You can actually die during this moment, and it's nowhere close to the only blind jump Batman Returns for the Sega Genesis makes the player take. The controls aren't great, either. You've got one button for special items, one for jumping, and one for punching/kicking. You'll also have to use the grappling hook at times (using the jump button and directional pad), but unfortunately, the grappling hook is only even fairly reliable when you're standing still, let alone trying to swing around. You've also got to solve environmental puzzles at times, often on the fly, with death often nigh. With all that in mind, this game is alarmingly difficult. However, it does not earn that difficulty. Beloved legendarily difficult games are generally beloved because the control systems for those games are tight and reliable. You aren't dying because of flaws in those games, only because of your own lack of skill. Batman Returns for Sega Genesis is not that type of game--it is balls out hard because it is not very good. As for production values, the menu screens and pause screen (where you select what special, limited ammo weapon you want to use, i.e. batarang, etc.) look fine. The actual, in-game graphics are kind of simplistic, but solid. The graphics are certainly a step above 8-bit, but nothing great. Same for the music--you've got that trademark, bass-reliant Genesis sound, but nothing much memorable. I will say, though, that the game does capture a bit of the film's dark, inkwell atmosphere...it just doesn't do very many fun or satisfying things with it. Like most Genesis games, there's no save system (or password system). You can continue when you get a game over, but you have to start all the way at the beginning of that particular stage. Each stage has multiple levels, so if you get a game over during the final (generally unfair) boss on the final level of the stage, get ready to play through the entire stage again...not very fun. A disappointment.

Graphics: 6.0/10
Sound: 6.0/10
Gameplay: 4.5/10
Lasting Value 4.0/10
Overall (Not an Average): 4.8/10.0




Batman Returns, Super Nintendo, April 1993

Storied developing house, Konami, took the reins for the Super Nintendo adaptation of Batman Returns. Konami decided to take their adaptation down the 2D beat 'em up route, ala Streets of Rage and Final Fight. This decision, along with Konami's skill as a developer, and perhaps the extra four months Konami spent on this versus Malibu's Genesis version, results in a pretty special game. In opposition to the Genesis adaptation, the controls here are tight and reliable. Tap a button to punch, tap it rapidly to combo and kick. There's a button to jump. Hit jump again to use the grappling hook--reliably. There's a button to throw the batarang, which does minimal damage, but very briefly stuns foes. There's devastating cowl twist move done by holding two buttons that takes a little health off Batman's meter if it connects. There's even the classic beat 'em up "kill everyone on screen" special item. In some games, that item, which you only get so many of, is utilized by just pushing one button, resulting in the player often accidentally unleashing it. Konami solves that problem by having the player hold down the shoulder buttons (which also cause Batman to block), then push another button--a simple solution that helps the player avoid accidentally using the attack. Of course, with side-scrolling 2D beat 'em ups, the player can move up and down in the field of play, as well as left and right. There are no control issues there. However, this game doesn't just stick to the basics. There are bunch of cool little touches. Of course, if you get close to an enemy, you'll grab them and can slam them into the ground or other enemies, but here, if two enemies approach you from opposite sides at the same moment, you can grab them simultaneously and bash their heads together. If you grab an enemy and are standing near a window, you can slam them into it and shatter it--same goes for park benches or other breakable surfaces. Each level has a boss from the film at the end, including that organ-grinder with a monkey and a machine gun. There's even an awesome Mode 7 (faux 3D, scaling sprite) Batmobile stage that looks and plays great. The graphics as a whole here are beautiful, highly detailed, with large, well-animated sprites, and great backgrounds, and it all runs smoothly with no slowdown. The music is mainly 16-bit interpretations of the score from the film, and it sounds great. The Sega Genesis version doesn't have anything like that. This Super Nintendo adaptation simply crushes the Genesis one in both production value and gameplay. That's not to say it's perfect, though. Sometimes the action does grow a little stale. You'll be in the same area wanting to move on, and enemies will just keep flooding in. The length is also at that awkward 45-60 minute mark, where there are no passwords or saves available, and you've simply got to dedicate that big of a chunk, minimum, to get through. You can toggle the difficulty level and number of lives available from the option screen, and each difficulty level feels well-balanced and appropriate. The more I played, the better I got--Catwoman kicked my butt the first few encounters, but after a number of showdowns, I was wiping the floor with her. Overall, Batman Returns for the Super Nintendo isn't just a good adaptation of the film, but one of the better film adaptations of the 16-bit era.

Graphics: 8.5/10
Sound: 8.0/10
Gameplay: 8.0/10
Lasting Value: 7.8/10
Overall (Not an Average): 8.0/10.0




Batman Returns, Sega CD, May 1993

The 1993 Sega CD port of the Genesis' Batman Returns game proved to be the film's final 16-bit adaptation. Sega CD ports of Genesis games were often derided for simply being the same game with a slapped on Redbook soundtrack. Malibu's Batman Returns port received some attention for essentially being that, while adding an entirely new element: sprite-scaling, faux 3D driving. The levels and controls are exactly the same as the Genesis game, but now there are driving levels between each stage. These play and look similarly to the Super Nintendo driving stage, except the controls aren't as good. You've got to hold down the B-button, while pushing the A button to fire discs out, and press C to fire missiles, while using the directional pad for horizontal direction/to ram into foes. The driving stages are timed, and failing to destroy all enemies before the timer runs out results in death, so you've got to constantly hold down the accelerator while firing...meaning you've got to put your hands into some arthritis-inviting positions. I did not enjoy this aspect of the game. It's remarkable that Konami nailed the single driving segment in their game, which could have just been a throwaway stage, but Malibu made driving half of their game, and it doesn't quite work. The driving stages here don't even look as good as the one in the SNES game. The Sega CD Batman Returns' updated soundtrack, while of a much higher sample quality than the other two 16-bit adaptations, only consists of a few pieces recycled over and over again throughout the game, which are seldom interesting. The game's graphics as a whole, though, do look a little bit sharper than they did on the Genesis, but unfortunately, the gameplay is exactly the same--not fun. But hey, there are some new animated cutscenes that look...adequate. Overall, this Sega CD version of Batman Returns is only marginally better than the Genesis one. The driving stages are tedious, and when added to the already tedious action-platforming, just make the game even more tedious. Beating this game in one sitting--which is the only way to beat it since you can't save or use passwords--will take so long, you'll need the patience of a saint, and the masochist nature of a Cleveland Browns fan. This should have been so much better.

Graphics: 6.2/10
Sound: 6.0/10
Gameplay: 4.8/10
Lasting Value: 4.2/10
Overall (Not an Average): 5.2/10.0



I did one of these showdowns for Jurassic Park a while ago and have to admit, I had a bit more fun doing that one because 2/3 of the games weren't awful. Batman Returns for the Super Nintendo is the only 16-bit adaptation of that film that's worth playing. The other two have attractive boxes and that's about it. An objective ranking here is easy, with far more distance between one and two than there is two and three.

Merry Christmas, and goodwill toward men...and women.

1. Batman Returns (Super Nintendo, 1993)
2. Batman Returns (Sega CD, 1993)
3. Batman Returns (Sega Genesis, 1992)

Greatest Heavyweights

Greatest Heavyweights, Sega Genesis, Acme Interactive, Inc., 1993

I visited my cousin in Houston a few weekends ago, and the conversation turned toward his busted Sega Genesis. 

"Mine still works," I said. " Do you still have Greatest Heavyweights?"

"Yeah. You want to take it?"

The existence of this review is one big spoiler to the previous question's answer

I did take Greatest Heavyweights, a game I put dozens of hours into in the mid-90's, whiling away late nights at my cousin's parent's house. Would this old boxing gem hold up, or be just as busted as my cousin's old Genesis?

Greatest Heavyweights features eight of the greatest heavyweight boxers from the 20th Century: Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, Rocky Marciano Larry Holmes, Jack Dempsey, Floyd Patterson, Joe Louis, and Evander Holyfield. You can either pick one of these guys, and duke it out with one of the other seven in an exhibition match, fight one of the game's fake characters (or use one of them instead of the real guys), engage in a multi-fight tournament, or go in for the best option the game offers: career mode with a boxer of your own creation.

The best option in this game is even better than recreating the greatest boxing match of all time.

"Create a Boxer" allows you to choose from numerous sizes of fighter, then allows you to select their skin color, hair color and style, facial structure, etc. There aren't a ton of options, but you can make your character green, which I always do. Now let me tell you the story of the greatest heavyweight champion of all time, Ace McFeely.

Sorry, MacGyver.

After entering career mode and creating McFeely, the game gives me the rank of 30th in the world, and faces me off against the 29th ranked boxer. The 29th ranked guy is hapless and I quickly knock him out. After winning a fight, the game allows me to pick three training activities out of an offered eight. Let me switch from "I" to "you." Anyway, you don't actually partake of any of these training activities as a gamer, but selecting them does increase your stats, "Power," "Speed," and "Stamina." You can choose the training activities based upon which stats you want to power up more. Of course I always want to immediately power up "Power."

Give the man a steak!

"Career Mode" consists of smashing through the top 30 fighters until you fight fictional champ, "Mike Dixon," and take his championship belt. To become powerful enough to take down Dixon, you've got to do a great job of leveling up between each fight. If you're having too easy of a time, and want to get to the top sooner, you can choose to fight a higher ranked boxer than the guy in front of you, though the game doesn't allow you to just jump straight to Dixon...you'd get destroyed if it did.

Destroyed just like poor Donny Ghost

Once I trashed all the boxers up to Dixon, I trashed him too, and received an invitation to then fight the eight "Greatest Heavyweights," thankfully one at a time. Wait, I'm sorry, let me switch back to "you."
Beat all eight greatest heavyweights, and you're the undisputed champ.

Nope, no bias here!

As cool as all this is, it wouldn't mean much if Greatest Heavyweight's boxing engine sucked. It doesn't, though. It's great. Your computer-controlled foes all fight in a given style--some aggressively, some defensively, some not protecting their head well. Once you figure out your foe's style, you can better box against them. You'll find that much of your opposition can't handle a body jab/head jab combo. Of course, you'll have to get the timing right, or you'll get pummeled.

Like poor Mr. Ali here

By the time you get to the top, your higher ranked foes, particularly the Greatest Heavyweights, will be rattling off some pretty spectacular combos of their own...and low jab/high jab isn't quite as magic an elixir anymore. However, if you've been paying attention in the earlier fights, the later, more difficult ones should be a piece of cake. Just press buttons, though, and you'll end up on the mat. You've got to strategize. That's easy for me to say, though. I've been playing this game for a long time.

Just ask Ali. Also, the victory beat, and all of the music in this game is great. Minimal, but great.

Your punch choices are the old favorites, jab, hook, and uppercut, which you can unleash with either hand. I highly recommend a six-button controller--otherwise, you've got to hit a couple buttons together to throw an uppercut, instead of just pushing one. There's also a button to block, though where's the fun in that?

1,839 punches thrown. Sounds about right.

I love this game. Once you get very good at it, there might be no further challenge, but that will take enough time to make the game feel like a worthwhile experience. Seeing all of these great fighters in one game is a treat. Hearing them is too, as true to a Sega Sports game, there's a lot of cool voice work, generally in the form of taunts. Getting taunted by Ali is always a thrill. Taunting him is even better.

Just a personal note: while Joe Frazier (R.I.P.) is my favorite boxer of all-time, personally, and it's the only reason I am ribbing him so much, I think Muhammad Ali (R.I.P.) is the greatest heavyweight boxer to ever live. He said it himself, and he wasn't lying.

The graphics are 16-bit solid, with all of the boxer animations convincing and fun. Few things are more exhilarating than landing a combo that knocks the spit out of your foe. Boy what a great sound effect, too. The hits in this game still feel visceral more than 25 years later.

Trust me, you do no NOT want to get hit by Ace "The Greatest" McFeely

Speaking of age, I should warn, not all of the boxer taunts found here are PC for 2020. Then again, how PC is a sport where you're trying to knock your competition unconscious? Greatest Heavyweights' overflowing 90's machismo is one of its greatest assets. This kind of swagger died when Sega stopped making sports games.

Graphics: 8.5/10.0
Sound: 9.0/10.0
Gameplay: 8.5/10.0
Lasting Value: 8.0/10.0
Overall (Not an Average): 8.5/10.0

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sega Genesis, Sega Technical Institute, 1992

Nostalgia can interact with our opinions in interesting ways. Last summer, when I reviewed 1991's Sonic the Hedgehog during my summer review marathon, I was bummed I didn't get to 1992's technically and creatively superior Sonic the Hedgehog 2. After all, I thought, that game is perfect. Indeed, in the year since, and really, in the intervening years since my cousin Adrian and I played Sonic the Hedgehog 2 time after time in the early-to-mid-90's, I've been thinking about just how much I love that game. The stages, the backgrounds, the music, all so memorable. The simple plot, as Sonic and his flying fox buddy Tails try to free all of the other animals from the evil Dr. Robotnik's machines, so charming. I made it a point to get to Sonic the Hedgehog 2 this summer, and get to it I did.

So nostalgic, I missed the corkscrew.

I was immediately taken by just how soon my memory was proved correct. Starting off in Emerald Hill Zone 1, gazing upon those green rollers, and that distant, beautiful blue sea, clouds submerging into and reflecting from its sunny surface, I felt at home. That bouncy, energetic, unmistakably Sega Genesis music hit my ears, and it was like I had never left.

I even died a couple of times in the submerged part of the Chemical Zone, just for old times sake.

I blazed through that first level as the titular hedgehog, a blazing speedster who can run, jump, and spin through the air. This time around, Sonic's even got a new move, the super spin, where you make Sonic crouch, then tap-tap-tap the button until he takes off like a balled up, razor-sharp rocket. This move can not only be used as an attack, but as a way to surmount perilously sharp inclines.
Sonic controls like a 16-bit dream, and it's tough to fight the urge to just run full-speed through all of the game's levels. Of course, if you do that, you'll succumb to Sonic 2's many spike-laden traps, or get hit by a foe who seems to come from out of nowhere. Take it slow, and Sonic almost feels a bit unwieldy, like he's just meant to move quickly. Leave him still for too long, and he'll start tapping his toes!

Though for some reason, he's always got time for the slots.

Finding the balance between running full tilt, and taking your time takes practice. You'll also notice with practice that most, if not all of the 2D, side-scrolling levels feature multiple paths to their ends There's generally a low, medium, and high path, with the high path generally featuring the most rewards, in the form of rings (collect 100, get an extra life added to your original tally of 3), shields, invincibility (only lasts a few moments), and power sneakers (for a limited time, they make you run even faster!). Get hit, and all your rings come shooting out of you. Get hit when you're not carrying any rings, and you're dead. Get crushed between two objects, and you're dead.
Sticking to the high path is a fun challenge, and greatly increases Sonic the Hedgehog 2's replay value. This time through, I made a point to try to stay on the high paths, remembering just how frustrating it is to miss a jump and get knocked down to the medium path. Still, though, fair is fair. To a point. And the point is this...

Oil companies are responsible for systemically destroying our Earth's environment.

In the early 90's, many video game publishers began adding save files to their games (Nintendo actually pioneered the idea with Zelda in the mid-80's). Make progress in a game, save, and if you get a game over, you can start right back where you left off, any time. Few Sega Genesis games feature this attribute. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 does not. When I played for 90 minutes this time, to the final level, then got a game over, meaning I'd have to start the ENTIRE GAME OVER, I suddenly felt a rush of horrible repressed memories: Adrian and I punching the floor after pouring the only two free hours of our Saturday into Sonic the Hedgehog 2, only to get a game over at the final boss.

Hi, we haven't met yet, I'm...dead. Oh. Huh. Didn't realize doing that would kill me. Time to play another 90 minutes just to get back to this one moment. No big deal.

If you make it to the final boss, who kills you in one hit, and you have one remaining life, you have literally no chance at learning his pattern and defeating him. You've got to do better the next time you play through the game, and try to get to him with multiple lives. Thankfully, you can earn continues as you play through the game. If you finish a zone with more than 100 rings, or in less than a minute, you get a continue (three more lives), which sets you at the start of the zone you game over'd in. If you get almost 100 rings, while simultaneously beating a zone in almost under a minute, you'll get a continue. Thus, early in the game, you can rack up a decent amount of continues. You can also earn the helpful "Super Sonic" by collecting seven Chaos Emeralds.

Chaos Emeralds live in this nice, psuedo-3D space, where nothing can hurt you, just like how nothing can hurt Sonic the Hedgehog 2's 10/10 score in my Nostalgia Zone.

Chaos Emeralds are acquired after completing bonus pseudo-3D courses only accessible when you reach one of a stage's save point lamps (thankfully there are save points within zones) with 50 rings. If you're really focused on this, you can get all seven emeralds in the game's first few stages. Of course, then you've got to get 50 more rings to transform into Super Sonic, a buffed out, near-invincible version of Sonic, a metamorphosis that's only temporary. Thankfully, there's also a debug cheat code that opens up a level select, so you can always pick up where you left off by...cheating. It feels dirty.

There's also a multiplayer mode that's so inconsequential, I forgot to mention it in the body of this review. There's one set in the Chaos Emerald levels that's a little more fun, though the most fun is just the single player, where someone can grab the second controller to control the hapless Tails, who can't keep up with Sonic and just dies over and over again. If no one grabs the controller, CPU-Tails follows Sonic on his own, doing something useful like grabbing a ring or hitting an enemy maybe once every six or seven minutes.

So there you have it, a game with bright, eye-popping graphics, an excellent, upbeat soundtrack, tight controls, and memorable levels. It's nearly perfect. In fact, without some cheap enemies popping out to hit you from nowhere, and the fact that you can spend hours of your life playing it, only to have to start the game over after losing to the final boss, it would be. It's still, due to nostalgia, one of my all-time favorites.

Nailed it

Graphics: 9.5/10.0
Sound: 9.0/10.0
Gameplay: 9.5/10.0
Lasting Value: 9.0/10.0
Overall (Not an Average): 9.5/10.0